SERVICES
THAT ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF LIFE
By David Watkins, Employment
Specialist,
Supported Employment Extended Services, Fargo, ND |
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Above
my desk at Friendship, Inc. is a small card with our Mission Statement. Two lines
in
particular strike me: "Sharing a vision of justice, respect and community:
Providing services that enhance the quality of life." My job at Friendship
is to find jobs in the community for people with developmental disabilities. Let
me tell you about one of them. Darwin is a man who is interested in the community.
He listens to the local news and likes to see which new businesses are opening
in the area. He loves music and enjoys reading equipment catalogs. He is able
to give good explanations of how complicated conveyors and packaging machines
work. |
When
I met Darwin, he had a job shaping ornamental
wood pieces for porches and
decks. He would usually come to work only one or two days a week and spoke very
little. Then, his employer lost its woodworking contract and Darwin had to find
a new job. A supported employment program found a job for Darwin, who has limited
use of one of his arms, at a local company
that processes North Dakota-grown sunflower seeds. |
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| Darwin's
job is to keep the floors and equipment clean and safe,
which is hard work
because the floor gets very dusty and oily. To adapt the work to Darwin's abilities,
the company purchased a new $5000 floor-cleaning machine that allows him to scrub
the floors using one arm. Darwin
and his Friendship, Inc. job coaches, Lisa and Ben, keep finding faster and better
ways for him to do his work. They have come up with a system that allows Darwin
to fill, drain and clean the floor machine by himself. Through practice, he has
learned to run the floor machine right up to the sides of the big packaging machines
and ovens. When Darwin started
this job, he rode to work with a job coach. Now, he rides a city bus.
These
days, he comes to work early to talk to the other workers and see what's new.
His co-workers enjoy the fact that Darwin is interested in what they do, always
shows up for work and is concerned about doing a good job. This is quite an accomplishment
for someone who used to come to work only one or two days a week. Now,
Darwin has people to talk to about hunting trips and fishing stories. He is using
the kind of equipment he once only looked at in catalogs. He is using his wages
to add to his music collection. He is getting around town more easily and actually
goes into the businesses he previously saw only on television. All these things
have considerably enhanced the quality of Darwin's life. Back
to Top |
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CARDS
TO CHEER HER COMMUNITY
By Herb Winzer, Jr., Program Administrator,
Grafton ND |
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| This
is a story about Ellen. Ellen lives in a Friendship, Inc. group home in Park River,
N.D. Through the years, Ellen's family has been very supportive of her. She went
home for extended visits and loved spending time there. She had a special bond
with her mother, and they worked on crafts together. Ellen would return from visits
with family pictures and a craft that she and her mother had made. Ellen found
great security and strength in her family and the positive values they gave her.
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| |
Unfortunately, time has a way of robbing
us of our treasures,
as it did when Ellen's mother died a few years ago.
The good news is that, although death can steal away the people we love, it can't
touch the spiritual things they pass on to us. In Ellen's case, she inherited
hope and a caring, nurturing spirit from the mother who loved her very much.
Soon after her mother's death, staff
members noticed Ellen's interest in using the computer in her group home. Knowing
that Ellen loved to make things, the staff obtained a computer |
| program
that makes greeting cards for all occasions. The staff asked Ellen if she would
like to make cards for people who live at the local nursing home. Ellen said she
would love to make the cards.
Each month, Ellen receives the names of
nursing home residents who will celebrate their birthdays that month. She makes
each resident a birthday card on the computer. She goes to the nursing home twice
a month to hand deliver the cards. Through this project, Ellen has established
a social role in her community. She smiles and shakes the hands of the people
she meets. They have come to know her and look forward to her visits. Through
her loss, Ellen discovered a new way of giving and has made new friends. To all
the wonderful people who support Ellen and make this possible, thank you. Back
to Top |
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A
DREAM COME TRUE
By Joe Watkins, Manager, Grafton ND |
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| This
is a story about Mary Ann, who was placed in a state institution for the developmentally
disabled in the 1940s when she was a very young girl. Years went by. Eventually,
a court order
mandated that the state depopulate the institution. Mary Ann
was placed in a group home operated by Friendship, Inc. She moved in with seven
housemates and a caring, dedicated staff.
As
time went on, her life became better. She went out into the community more and
went on vacations. Her anxieties decreased. But there was one thing missing. Mary
Ann had no contact with her family. Records
from the institution that had closed yielded several addresses. We wrote to these
addresses about Mary Ann. The letters came back to us, except for one. One day
about a year later, Mary Ann received a letter. It was from her sister, Marlys.
She was interested to know more about her sister.
By
the next Christmas, Mary Ann received cards from all of her brothers and sisters
and from a niece in Wisconsin named Julie. The cards and letters continued, but
we hoped that there could be a face-to-face visit for Mary Ann and her family.
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We
received a letter from Julie, Mary Ann's niece,
saying that she would like
to meet Mary Ann in Fargo. The day came when Mary Ann met her niece
and her
niece's family. They looked at photo albums together. After a while Mary Ann's
sister, Marlys, arrived as well. As the family get-together came to a close, Marlys
said she would like for it to happen again. I'm sure Mary Ann will see Marlys
again in the not-too-distant future, and maybe even some other siblings. |  |
| This
meeting would not have taken place without the teamwork of the staff at Friendship,
Inc. To make Mary Ann's dream of a family reunion a reality, staff members, secretaries
and administrators all had to help. Days like the one on which Mary Ann finally
saw her family again keep us going on the tough days and make our jobs special.
Back
to Top |
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|
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| By:
Roberta Michels, Friendship, Inc. Fargo, ND |
| Sometimes
when people work many years at the same kind of job, they wonder why they continue
to do the job with all of its challenges. Then, something happens that reminds
them of why they do the job and why they care about the people with whom they
work. |
| Dean,
who has a disability, is someone we serve. His mother was scheduled to come and
see him after what had been a long period of time. While she was on her way, she
had a heart attack. She needed hospitalization and major surgery. During her recovery,
Dean received calls and letters from his sister and brother, telling him that
his mom was doing fine. But for Dean, a telephone call is not the same as seeing
and talking to mom. | "The
reunion lifted my heart." |
|
| I
arranged to take Dean and his brother Darrell, who also has a disability, to the
town where his mom was recuperating in a nursing home. The reunion lifted my heart.
Darrell had seen his mom shortly after surgery, but now could see that she was
much better. And, Dean finally got to see his mom. We also celebrated Darrell's
birthday that day, which really improved his mom's spirits. |
| It doesn't make up for all the
obstacles that sometimes confront us, but when these special things happen, I
know I made a difference by helping someone feel just a little bit more content. |
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| BY:
Jenny Johnson, Friendship, Inc. Grafton |
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| Corey is a 48-year-old
man who had his dream come true. Corey has had limited "real" work experiences
offered to him. He was presented with an idea about a year ago that a staff member
had gotten from attending a self-employment workshop. Corey had the skills and
desire to do the job, and once he tried it, his response was very positive. |  |
| After some planning and
creativity Corey became the new and proud owner of "Corey's Canine Cookies."
His business started because others believed in him and Corey believed in himself.
He showed persistence and the ability to complete the task. |
| Corey makes doggie treats and
sells them in local businesses. He now has three different sizes available in
the many locations where they are sold. Corey didn't get here by chance. He had
to work hard and learn the process of making, packaging, and marketing his products.
During this process, Corey has become more outgoing and willing to accept change
in his routine. He has come into contact with family members, and for the first
time at a local Holiday Mall met with a cousin who had lost contact with him.
He has been reunited with others at social events and has made new friends. He
has made an extra special new friend with the owner of a new business in the town
where he lives. Julie has been a huge part of Corey's success and up until she
had met him, she had never had any experiences of being involved with anyone with
a disability. She said "Corey has really taught her how precious life is
and that anything is possible if you put your mind to it." |
| Corey continues to learn
and grow every day. He is becoming more and more active in the community at craft
shows, local businesses and working at Julie's store. Corey's future plans are
to broaden his customer base by selling from a website, making customer contacts
and asking more businesses to display his product.
The most important impact of Corey having his own business is how he has changed.
He will continue to gain new experiences as he travels down the road of life.
Corey is living his dream and wanted to share his story with the world. |
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| An
Unexpected Spirit of Christmas |
|
By: Jack Pflieder, Friendship,
Inc. Grafton |
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| I
have worked at Friendship, Inc. in Grafton, ND since July of 2006. I had not had
much contact with Viola, one of the people we serve, other than to say "Hello,"
to her in the mornings in passing. So I was surprised in December to receive an
invitation to her Christmas Party. Several staff members informed me that this
invitation was important because Viola does not ordinarily involve males in her
life and never invites them to her home. I felt honored that she invited me. When
I arrived at her home the next night, I was warmly welcomed by Viola and she was
eager to give me a tour. Soon the home was filled with guests. At one point, I
counted 15 people. That's not counting the many who stopped by to say "Merry
Christmas" but couldn't stay. |  |
| Viola was a wonderful hostess.
As the night came to a close, Viola thanked everyone for coming and was smiling
from ear to ear. When I left, she gave me a hug and said, "Thank you for
coming, Jack." This was the first time that she had ever used my name. This
was my first Christmas in North Dakota and I was unable to go home for the holidays.
By accepting me into her home, Viola was able to give me some Christmas Spirit
that I was unable to have that year. Since then, Viola and I have gotten closer.
I look forward each day to talking to her and having her share with me. She has
become a part of my day that I miss when she is not around. |
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Along
The Way |
By:
Christine Jensen |
Gentle
Heroes |
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| "Life,
misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields which have their
heroes; obscure heroes, sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes." -
Victor Hugo |
|
It
has been a while since I wrote about the restaurant. Although still a daily struggle,
we continue to move forward making positive changes to secure our survival. Despite
the struggles, many blessings enter our lives as we go about our daily routines;
unexpected blessings we wouldn't have found had we not taken the risk and started
a business.
|
One
such blessing is a young woman named Raeann who currently comes to the restaurant
with her coordinator Linda twice a week to roll silverware. Through the Day Program
at Friendship Inc., in Grafton, we were able to hire Raeann as part of an ongoing
effort to integrate people with disabilities into the community. She has a gentle
radiance about her which brings us a great deal of joy and happiness. Along with
the rest of our staff, we look forward to seeing both of them on the days they
are able to help us.
|  |
Raeann
and I are the same age and so I feel a deep connection with her, a friendship
that despite the language barrier is a constant source of inspiration and fulfillment.
In those amazing moments when she communicates through her smiles and powerful
eye contact, all the troubles of life seem to float away because in those moments
I am able to see the person behind the silence.
|
When
she was younger, Raeann was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome, a childhood neurodevelopmental
disorder characterized by normal early development followed by loss of purposeful
use of hands, distinctive hand movements, slowed brain and head growth and seizures.
An Austrian physician named Dr. Andreas Rett first described the disease in a
journal article in 1966. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders,
the course of Rett syndrome, including the age of onset and severity of symptoms,
varies from child to child. Before the symptoms begin, the child appears to grow
and develop normally. Then gradually, mental and physical symptoms appear. Individuals
with Rett syndrome often exhibit autistic-like behaviors in the early stages.
Rett syndrome is caused by mutations in the MECP2 gene, which is found on the
X chromosome. It affects one in every 10,000 to 15,000 female births in all racial
and ethnic groups worldwide. Famous actress Julia Roberts narrated a film about
Rett syndrome which was titled, "Silent Angels."
|
The
title of the documentary perfectly describes my friend Raeann; she is a silent
angel in our lives, one who shows me more about the goodness of life than I ever
thought I could learn. She is one of those obscure heroes who despite her challenges
brings beauty and grace into my life.
|
 | Since
Raeann started at the restaurant several months ago, it has been amazing to see
the transformation in her silent reflections. When she first started, it was rare
to see her smile or even make eye contact with any of us. Now, she regularly lights
up when I talk to her and is constantly looking straight into my eyes. I know
she understands everything we are saying and although I often wish she could talk
to me, she communicates by the expressions on her face and through her eyes.
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One
day as we sat visiting about her family, Raeann's coordinator Linda started talking
about the many nieces and nephews she has. I could tell she felt the same way
about them as I do about my niece and nephew. A giant smile graced her face and
she even vocalized a few sounds. I could feel the enormous amount of love she
has for them. There have been many such occurrences when I sit and visit with
Raeann and Linda where she will suddenly smile and it is as if time stops for
a moment and opens up to the truth of her awareness. I catch myself constantly
looking beyond the disease realizing she is just like me in so many ways. Besides
the fact we are the same age, she feels good when someone compliments her, she
has a great love of family, she enjoys being with people, she loves the simple
things like orange soda and vanilla ice cream, and mostly she takes great pleasure
in the bonds of friendship.
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I
often look into her eyes and see Raeann, the celestial essence that is peaceful
and beautiful, the person without Rett Syndrome, the woman whose understanding
I have no doubt goes far deeper than mine. She watches from her soul, she sees
through the silence, she understands from her heart. Isn't that really what we
are all suppose to strive to be like in this world, silent angels who bring joy
to others through the simple graces of a laughing smile and keen consciousness.
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I
couldn't write this column without talking about her coordinator Linda who has
been Raeann's friend for more than nine years. It's as if she knows the words
Raeann wants to speak but simply can't. They joke with one another and Linda often
says to her, "I know what you're thinking Raeann, 'Linda has been talking
my ear off all day long, I can't get a word in.'" Then Raeann will smile
as if it is exactly what she is thinking. Just as Raeann brightens our days, so
too does Linda. She has such a wonderful presence, no matter how hectic the day
has been at the restaurant when they walk through the front door it's truly as
if the sunshine drifted in with them. Linda and Raeann take the time to visit
with everyone who works there, asking about their families and any difficulties
they may be experiencing. Linda has a way of sensing when I am feeling stressed
out and she reacts with a compassionate resonance of caring support. We are all
grateful to have them in our lives.
|
I
encourage anyone who is given the opportunity to hire someone with a disability
to do so. You will learn more than you ever imagined you could. Sometimes along
the way we are blessed to receive unexpected awakenings through the silent angels
that enter our journeys. They come into our lives when we least expect them and
teach us the impact of what one life can do for another. They make us realize
how incredible the simple things truly are in the kaleidoscope of our existence
and they challenge us to see the world in a different way.
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| My
friend Raeann has Rett syndrome, but there is so much more to her than the outer
appearance of her disorder, she is a beautiful 38-year-old woman who has shown
me the wonder in every present moment; she has taught me to see clearly that which
I was unable to see before. But most of all, she has graced me with the knowledge
that heroes are created from the quiet places of the heart. |
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